Scan results and "The Gift Theory"

Many of us who go through having regular scans are normal, sane people. That is until we get our scans done. Once those scans have been taken we become driven; trying to get results or find clues as to which side our coin toss will land. We will try to find hints in the way our doctor calls us, or doesn't call us. We try to read meanings into everything. Part of this is self-preservation; we are trying to prepare for the worst so it isn't too big of a shock.

I worked out why having scans and not being able to get results drives me crazy. I call it the "Gift theory".

The Gift Theory:
At Christmas time, birthdays, name days etc. people will often give gifts. It is nice to look forward to, but we don't think too much about it. For some, not much thought goes into the possibility of receiving a gift. If it happens we are thankful, if it doesn't, well, then it doesn't and life goes on. Each day gets us closer to a gifting event, but it is not something that drives us, until......

The day someone tells us they have bought a gift and that it is hidden in the house is the day a normally sane person becomes crazy! We start to obsess about it and even try to sneak peeks. We want to nag the person and even get angry that they are doing THIS to us. It is always on our minds and hard to let go. The longer we have to wait the more we engage in conspiracy theories. We try not to get our hopes up, just incase we are disappointed, but we hope, beyond all hope that we will be pleasantly surprised.

Then the gift is presented. All that angst wrapped up in a little packet. For those up us with "stable" or negative results, we open the gift and release tears of thanks. For others who have been given a gift of a new tumour or disease, a whole new life and journey through grief begins.

But for now, we have the gift opened. We can go back to being rational people. We can forget about the gift (although some might experience a little guilt at putting their loved ones through that stress). We become normal again... at least until next time.